"I'M UGLY"

Last week over the easter weekend I spent some time with family and friends. So as I was greeting everyone I noticed one of my family friends, a 12 year old girl and how she had grown she looked so different! So I rushed up to her gave her a hug and said "you look sooo pretty", but there was this awkward silence then she said "no i'm ugly". I was so shocked and soo upset, sooo I pulled her to the side sat her down and I said we had to talk. So I didn't understand what she meant it was like looking at the blue sky and saying it was red! She said that she didn't look like all the girls at school, and the fact that she had just started secondary school, puberty is hitting girls earlier or later than others, so that was her main issue. She said how her hair wasn't long and flowy like the other girls, her nose was too big, her chest was too flat and all the other girls had boyfriends. This is where I had to interrupt her lol. I asked her if she had a boyfriend at 12, how would it benefit her, she looked at me and grinned, shrugged her shoulders saying "I don't know". So I asked her what she liked about her self she mentioned a few things which was a relief. Then she broke down, which was very hard for me to watch, while I was comforting her a thought came to me that these issues are not spoken about especially to younger girls, these insecurities don't randomly come at puberty it must have been from earlier experiences and then it gradually builds up into a belief about the way they think about themselves. Even though it's great people come into secondary schools, colleges and universities to talk about these kind of issues, I firmly believe that it these talks and workshops should take place mainly in primary schools as it is easier to get through to these young people. When they're teenagers it's likely that they have already made up their minds about what they think abut themselves and it is much more difficult to help them out.

Moreover, after talking to this young girl, I realised that our insecurities as women are not just based on our physical beauty but who we have around us or having someone in our lives that make us feel safe, hence a lot us resorting in having a partner for the wrong reasons, now don't me wrong, relationships are great but when they're for the wrong reasons such as feeling incomplete without a boyfriend, you should talk to someone about it. As women we should learn to feel complete as just ourselves and feel comfortable in our own bodies, everyone is different and not one person on this earth is perfect all the so called perfection you see on tv or in magazines is counterfeit. Even though it's always good to look great! Be hot or beautiful whatever you may call it in your own bodies. x